Section 310 Forced To Sit And Watch As Section 311 Wins Free Chipotle For A Month

Halftime. Last night. The big game. Fans were completely enthralled and entrenched in a game they’ve all been waiting for and came together as one to cheer for the home team. 

Then the raffle happened. A promotional award was given to lucky section 311 from the stadium’s sponsor. But more importantly, the neighboring section of 310 was forced to sit and watch as their former fan-mates had won free Chipotle for a month. 

“They really turned this arena into the haves and the have-nots,” said Tommy Clarksen after the game, seat 12C, section 310. 

While a spokesperson from the stadium did not offer comment, it has been long known that such an establishment believes in trickle down burritonomics. A theory that claims that if burritos are given to the 1% of stadium attendance, they’ll surely share their good fortunes with the other 99%. 

“First let me say that all stadium lives matter,” mentioned Reginald Vanderbelt VIII, seat 3A, section 311, “however we do not believe in stadium handouts. We believe that people should work hard for their promotional prizes. Laziness in this life will not grant you a burrito.” 

Despite efforts from section 310 holding up posters saying, “Burritos for all!” and “When they go low we go burrito!” Unfortunately, these protests seem to have fallen on the deaf ears of the stadium’s President who tweeted out after the game, “There are a lot of great people on both sides and sections.”