Ranking NFC East Fanbases From Completely Insufferable To Adorably Violent
The NFC East is the worst. The teams, the coaches, and most importantly, the fans. We’ve ranked them from completely insufferable all the way to adorably violent.
Completely Insufferable—NY Giants Fans
Elitist, loud-mouthed blowhards whose only redeeming quality is that they’re not Jets fans. As the self-appointed cultural elite, they sure do scream profanities a lot. Maybe their noses are buried too deep in “New Yorker” articles dissecting the city they’re being priced out of to comprehend how any veneer of sophistication is shattered when throwing temper tantrums at a stadium in New Jersey.
Pathetically Loyal—Washington Commanders Fans
Washington was good three decades ago. That’s fun. But, it’s unclear why fans are still here funneling money into the hands of a rich asshole scandal after scandal after scandal. Apparently, they actually believe their coaches — who seemingly change every other year — when they say things will be different. It appears the more things change, the more things stay the same.
Developmentally Stunted—Dallas Cowboys Fans
A fanbase only slightly less mature than their team’s defensive gameplan. Worshiping big strong men and half naked women like the ancient Greeks, but their Socrates happens to be an oil tycoon who can’t build a winner. And why? Because anyone who questions that faces the threat of physical harm if they point out the giant TV hanging in the center of their stadium clearly shows that the Cowboys have, had, and will continue to suck.
Adorably Violent—Philadelphia Eagles Fans
Boys will be boys and Eagles fans will just be the cutest. Flailing their limbs about in anger because they’re still learning to speak. The most adorable of fanbases. Climbing light poles as they explore the world around them. They grow up so fast! This sweetie pie here found a battery. Can he say “battery”? Hopefully they’ll sound it out before the prosecution repeats the charges. Breaking: their third court summons this month and this one just might be worthy of the fridge.
