Jaguars Fans Swear If Trevor Lawrence Wins A Super Bowl He’ll Never Have To Pay For Bag Of Meth In Jacksonville

Jacksonville fans made a promise to Trevor Lawrence this past weekend that if the rookie QB wins the team a Super Bowl, he will never again have to pay for a bag of meth in the city.

“There’s no greater token of appreciation in this town,” said Jags and meth superfan Caleb Webb, who spoke for the residents of Jacksonville in a press conference. “If Trevor delivers us a championship, he’s getting a bag of ice on the house wherever he goes—whether it’s at a bar, a strip club, or the gator hole. As long as he’s within the city limits, he’s gonna get all the complimentary gak he could ever want.” 

In the past, two quarterbacks have brought Jacksonville to the brink of a Super Bowl appearance—Mark Brunell and Blake Bortles—both of whom suffered losses in the AFC Championship. That type of success only afforded Brunell and Bortles occasional free crank but never the high-grade, quality glass worth 100 times the amount of the household cleaning products it cost to make it.

Residents are hopeful that will change. “If Lawrence were to ever hoist the Lombardi trophy while donning the teal and gold, then there won’t be a moment he can maneuver through town without having a Gatorade cooler filled with methamphetamine dumped on him to celebrate his greatness,” added Jacksonville mayor Lenny Curry. “That’s quite an honor. Even someone in my position of power still has to dish out serious benjamins for quality rocket fuel.”

Many fans have already jumped the gun and begun showering Lawrence with free meth. “Yeah, I mean, it’s really nice of them to do that. I’m humbled,” said Lawrence. “I’m really feeling the love here in Jacksonville. I guess I can add this meth to all the other free stuff I’ve gotten from fans and agents over the years.”