Relief Pitcher Sick Of Hearing About How Tired Starting Pitcher Is
After taking the mound in the bottom of the 7th inning last night, relief pitcher Tommy Laszlo told reporters he’s sick and tired of having to hear how exhausted the starting pitcher is all the time. “He’s always tired. Guess what? Everyone’s tired! But I don’t go around whining about it,” said Laszlo, who argued that, unlike starting pitchers, he actually finishes games.
“That tool runs out of gas after half a game. Well, guess what? There’s still baseball to play, champ!” said Laszlo, whose teammates confirmed he never complains about how tired he is.
“I’m sorry, but seriously what a pansy, am I right?” said Laszlo, bragging that he could normally keep playing if the coach didn’t tell him the game is over. “At the end of the day, all that matters is who’s standing on the mound when we win,” said Laszlo, known by his teammates for his theory that starting pitchers’ arms get tired so quickly because they’re “always jerking off.”
Laszlo continued to rant about how he always has to be the guy who cleans up other people’s messes, telling reporters that, “Just once, I’d like for the starter to relieve me.”
