Second Baseman Wondering If He’ll Ever Get Promoted to First Baseman

When Cincinnati Reds second baseman Nick Gonzales gazes at first baseman Spencer Horwitz, he doesn’t see a double-play anchor. Nor does he see an effective leadoff hitter. When Gonzales looks at Horwitz, he sees a career-crusher intent on keeping him from climbing the corporate ladder.

“90 feet might as well be a million miles away,” lamented Gonzales. “Look, I just want to grow my career with a move from second to first. I hit my numbers every quarter. I work nights and weekends. I’m at every mound visit, even when the pitcher’s like “What are you doing here?”. Heck, who’s covering for that sad sack [Horwitz] when he rushes a bunt? Me, that’s who! What else does a guy have to do to get to first base in this organization?!”

To his credit, Horwitz understands Gonzales’ plight. “I get it”, he admitted. “I remember when I was putting my time in at second base. There wasn’t a day that went by where I didn’t think I could do the first baseman’s job better than him. I wanted the pay raise, the parking space, the key to the first baseman’s bathroom. I was in HR’s office every other day making my case.”

“Look, I’m grateful for the job I have,” said Gonzales as he retrieved his car from the overflow lot. “But I’ve kept my head down and done my job for long enough.” Waving a legal pad, he added, “I’ve been keeping track… know how many times Horwitz showed up late in the second inning and left early in the eighth last week? Three freaking times! It might just be time for me to go. Just checked LinkedIn and the Rockies are looking for a first baseman.”

Gonzales pauses as third baseman Jared Triolo passes by. “Well at least I’m not that guy. Third base is like one step up from the mail room.”