Someone Left A Scathing Yelp Review Of Tampa’s Raymond James Stadium And We’re Pretty Sure It Was Bill Belichick

Sports Riot discovered a chillingly calculated one-star Yelp review of the Bucs’ Raymond James Stadium and we’re pretty sure the writer, “ScowlDaddy1952,” is Patriots head coach Bill Belichick.

“Field too dry and intact. Players not cold and miserable enough. Makes them soft,” began the nine-page critique, which we noted had no sentences longer than eight words and contained only a smattering of adjectives. “Fans also smiling despite no reason to be.”

The harsh review hit on a wide range of the stadium’s perceived failings, calling out the hard-to-navigate hallways that made it difficult to find the proper areas to install hidden cameras for “very legal oppo research.” The poster also highlighted the 24-year-old stadium contained “lots of historical inaccuracies,” including “no live rounds in cannons. Weak.”

“ScowlDaddy1952” was equally scathing towards the Bucs for their failure to use the stadium to its full tactical advantage — such as positioning the light fixtures at an angle to blind an away team’s punt returner or not having inspection-proof equipment rooms. 

The reviewer, whose profile pic is a stained gray hoodie, made sure other readers knew his credentials on the matter, having both “years of insider NFL experience” and a whopping 548 check-ins to Raymond James this past six months to “keep tabs on an old employee.”

Is “ScowlDaddy1952” Bill Belichick? We can’t say for sure, mostly under threat of legal action. But we can say the same profile wrote one-star reviews for the Cleveland Browns, the TB-12 Diet Plan, and Zendaya’s performance in “Euphoria.” You decide.