Struggling Actor Considering Joining The NFL To Book More Commercials

After failing to get a callback for the role of an embarrassing dad in an insurance commercial, local actor Donovan Helsen, 36, says he’s considering taking a part-time job as an NFL player in order to book more commercials. 

The actor, best known as an improv instructor at UCB Sunset, is reportedly debating whether to audition for kicker, free safety, or maybe even center. 

“I’m quite versatile as an actor, so I’m keeping my options open,” said Helsen, who is studying NFL players’ body language to prepare for the upcoming draft. “Acting is so competitive. A lot of great actors have used football as a way to backdoor their way into the industry, like Terry Crews, Carl Weathers, and the great O.J. Simpson.” 

Helsen says there are more similarities between football and acting than most people realize. 

“It’s all about who you know. Once I get my foot in the door, I can start booking sports movies. Who better to play Ray Lewis in the inevitable murder mystery biopic than a trained thespian who has killed people on stage at every community theater in LA County?”

UPDATE: Helsen’s plan has been put on hold after breaking 11 ribs while reenacting a scene from Drew Brees’ final season.