Study: Women’s March Madness Linked Back To Decades Of Unreported March Gaslighting

A study out of the Women’s Hysteria Institute has found that the seasonal madness afflicting women during the March NCAA basketball tournament is not, as has long been assumed, due to chemical delicacy of the female brain but is rather the result of “March Gaslighting” perpetrated by men.

The study defines “March Gaslighting” as the tendency of men to lead women to doubt how they filled out their NCAA brackets, resulting in women questioning their own senses of reality. The practice also often results in women being committed to mental hospitals.

“March Gaslighting is especially common in the workplace,” said the study’s lead scientist Dr. Madeline Murray. “Men feel emasculated at the thought of their brackets busting worse than their female colleagues. They often feel this is a direct reflection on the size of their genitalia.”

To settle their own insecurities, Dr. Murray says men often engage in sabotage. “One study participant threw away his wife’s bracket after losing his second Final Four team before the Sweet Sixteen. Another participant told his daughter that Gonzaga was a type of cheese and not a real university,” Dr. Murray said, before adding that the majority of participants “simply convince women the tournament is a figment of their imagination altogether.”

As a result, nearly 15% of female basketball fans are institutionalized during the tournament while another 35% are forced onto heavy psychoactive medications.

Asked whether similar phenomena occur in other sports, Dr. Murray responded, “Well, there was that time Babe Ruth bribed a doctor to give the woman who struck him out a lobotomy in 1931.”