Top 10 Slovenian Basketball Players To Watch In This Year’s Olympics

The world is on pins and needles waiting to see what the mighty monsters of the Slovenia men’s national basketball team will do to the competition in the Olympics. Look out, Czech Republic, these 10 Slovenian megastars are in it to win it:

1. Gregor Hrovat: Slovenia’s tallest man and most elite rutabaga farmer from the Upper Carniola region. Talk about pedigree!
2. Žiga Dimec: Good center. Great accountant.
3. Zoran Dragić: Best. Dragić. Ever. Prove us wrong.
4. Vlatko Čančar: A deadly shooter from the outside, shown by his time with the Slovenian military.
5. Steven Adams: He’s white and not from America. Must be Slovenian.
6. Edo Murić: Team captain and the “Kevin Durant of Slovenia’s Petrol Consortium.”
7. Kevin Durant: Full-blooded Slovenian, according to this off-brand genetic test.
8. Janez Janša: Janša prefers his nickname, “The Prime Minister of Slovenia.” No doubt he’ll rule the court as mercilessly as he rules his country!
9. Luka Dončić: A mostly good player. Yet, he’s no….
10. Sača Dončić: The GOAT of the Dončić family—and all of Slovenia. This national hero may be 47, but look for the big man to make a real impact at the Olympics before he retires with a hefty state pension. Meanwhile, his brother will slave away abroad, averaging a measly 27 points per game in the National Basketball Association in the U.S. instead of honoring his homeland.

 

There you have it, the top-ten beasts from the east sure to ignite the world with Slovenia Mania. Look out next week for our top-twenty NBA players from Greece to watch.