Top 10 Ways The NBA Should Antagonize China
The relationship between the NBA and China has remained tense ever since Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey tweeted out his support for the Hong Kong protestors. A lot has gone on in the world since then, but Sports Riot hasn’t forgotten. Since the Chinese government doesn’t believe in free speech, here are 10 ways the league can use it to piss them off.
- Start a rumor that Yao Ming is actually from Japan
- Suggest Charles Barkley is fatter and balder than Buddha
- Remind them that Lebron is American
- Start a franchise in Hong Kong named “The Capitalists”
- Dub Phil Jackson “History’s Greatest Zen Master”
- Tweet at President Xi that “even an injured John Wall plays better defense than the Great Wall”
- Claim NBA dynasties are superior to Chinese dynasties
- Give Jeremy Lin an NBA contract so he doesn’t need to play in China anymore
- Rename Kung Pao chicken ‘Boom Shakalaka’ chicken
- Remind them that North Korea got Dennis Rodman while they had to settle for Stephon Marbury
Remember, China—there’s no ‘I’ in freedom but there are several in “Sports Riot recognizes the sovereignty of Taiwan.”
