South Carolina Senator Introduces Bill Banning Lady Gamecocks

Lamenting that when he was growing up, Gamecocks were men and only men, and there’s no reason for that to ever change, South Carolina Senator Patrick Ellis introduced a bill today to ban all female Gamecocks.

The bill got its start after a controversial incident last spring, when a ref believed he was talking to a male gamecock, only to find out much later that it was actually a female deceptively pretending to be a gamecock.

“A lady as a Gamecock? It’s just unnatural,” Ellis said on the South Carolina General Assembly floor. “What’s next? Lady shuttlecocks? You’re not born a Lady Gamecock. It’s something you become.”

It’s a choice,” Ellis added, “like figuring out what to eat for lunch.”

Ellis told his colleagues he believes that the bill will improve quality of life in the Palmetto State, even proposing a medical test to determine the gender of a Gamecock.

“It’s simple. A Gamecock can’t be a lady, that’s a Gamelady, and a Gamelady isn’t a Gamecock, cocks are cocks, and ladies are ladies. Cocks can’t be ladies no matter how they game,” Ellis said.