Tragic: This Quarterback Connected With His Receiver For 12 Yards, But Failed To Connect With Him Emotionally

Washington State wide receiver Nate Kumerow Jr.’s celebration was short-lived last week after connecting with quarterback Anthony Gordon on a 12-yard post route but once again failing to connect with him on an emotional level.

“Sure, we got a first down, but it’s not like he asked me how my day was going,” said a frustrated Kumerow, who added that it was difficult to tell whether the high-five Gordon delivered after the completion was a mere meaningless hand-slap or a genuine attempt to bond on a deeper level. “It just sucks because he knows me so well when it comes to throwing me the ball, but if it ever came to throwing me something else, like a bachelor party? Forget it.”

Washington State offensive coordinator Dave Nichol told reporters that the team is not in the business of helping its players work through their repressed emotions in order to promote healthier and more rewarding personal friendships, as it was unclear how this would make them better at football. However, Nichol did admit to getting a little choked up when Kumerow learned there had been a death in Gordon’s family and immediately comforted his receiver with another 12-yard pass.