Villanova, Gonzaga, And Other Gibberish Words We Accept As A Society In March

Can someone please clue me in? It’s March, and I once again find myself baffled by my coworkers using gibberish words like ‘Villanova’ and ‘Gonzaga’ that society just seems to accept. 

What is it about March that has an entire society of adults using baby talk? ‘Wofford,’ ‘Creighton’ and ‘Iupui’ are not words. Why do I keep seeing them everywhere? Is this all some Xennial thing people are trying to look cool and keep up with? Is it a TikTok thing? 

Also, why is everyone suddenly obsessed with some big dance in March? We’re adults. We’ve all had prom already. Even if some of us didn’t go because we couldn’t find a date, it’s over, and we need to live with that. Dances are for children. It’s time to grow up. 

It also appears that for some reason in March everyone wants to abandon American geography. Miami is in Florida, not Ohio. Oakland is in California, not Michigan. Why does everyone insist otherwise every March? What’s next, you’re going to tell me Hollywood is in Florida? 

The only answer I can find is that it is related to some sort of cult called Bracketology. It’s not clear where or when this cult started, but it seems to be led by an old white man known simply as Dickie V, who is obsessed with diaper dandies–another made-up term that all my cult-following coworkers seem more than happy to accept. As far as I can tell, Bracketology has no basis in science, even though it sounds official, so you know it’s definitely a cult. 

Maybe it’s me? I do feel like I’m going crazy when this happens every March. Could I be suffering from some sort of seasonal issue like S.A.D. that brings on madness? Nah, I’m fine. It’s society that is crazy.