Wow?: Uzbek Pitcher Can Throw 20,000 Hectares Per Soat
In what baseball scouts are calling a possibly incredible feat, 17-year-old Uzbek pitching prodigy and gold miner Makhsudbek Yusupov has blown his entire kichik shahar away by clocking in a pitch at over 20,000 hectares per soat.
Standing a conceivably impressive 19 decimeters tall, Yusupov is quickly becoming the talk of the Steppe! During his four-year span with his youth team, he has maintained a jaw-dropping Ishlagan Yugurishlar Average of only 0.74. Further adding to the international hype-poezd is the fact that, even at his young age, Yusupov has also twice been nominated for the Tashkent Youth Military Academy’s Decoration For Honor In Kurash, making his overall sports talent unsurpassed in the entirety of his home raion of Qumqo’rg’on, if not the entire Surxondaryo region itself!!
“When I first heard about Yusupov, I couldn’t believe or understand what I was hearing,” said Yankees general manager Brian Cashman, furiously scribbling notes while glancing back and forth between an Uzbek-to-Russian and Russian-to-English dictionary. “But according to every scout I’ve spoken to, Makhsudbek could bring a much needed ‘sh’… uh… ‘chik’… ‘chuqurlik’? To our pitching roster. Which I’m assuming is a positive thing.”
According to rumors swirling around the MLB pressbox, Cashman has already reached out to Yusupov offering him a 4-year contract for 2,918,190,000 Uzbeki s’oms, which is quite probably a substantial sum of money!
Yusupov is even allowing himself a little bit of boastfulness, claiming that he is positive of at least eighty yutuq while never ruxsat berish even one single urmoq. A bold claim if we’ve ever heard one!
None of this is surprising to the proud Uzbek locals, however, “Much like a good sumalak during Yangi Yil, the kid is unconventional, but amazing,” said Uzbek National Team coach and interim Deputy Prime Minister Umid Rakhmatullayev. “His signature to’pni o’zgartiring is simply unbeatable. And he has also otmoqed a perfect o’yin in four consecutive mavsums!”
