WWE Union Rep Body Slammed Through Negotiation Table

The National Labor Relations Board has charged the WWE with unfair labor practices after a union representative was body slammed through a negotiation table live on Monday Night Raw.

Alex Kornrath was mid-OSHA compliance negotiation when he was expertly scissor kicked into a chokeslam through a table. The crowd cheered as Kornrath distributed leaflets, handbills, and letters of further union reading only to immediately be hoss-hitcked by a deadly camel clutch and placed into an ankle-lock.

During the Hell in a Cell live negotiation, Kornrath sustained repeated blunt force trauma via metal folding chair, aluminum ladder, and baseball bat with barbed wire while shouting, “Refusing to engage in good-faith collective bargaining will result in an NLRB lawsuit!”

Heel and big time villain Dirty-Man-Savage dropped a top rope union-busting-bull-hammer that smashed Kornrath to the canvas while Vince McMahon ordered five other wrestlers to settle their ongoing feuds and lay a five person beat down on the motionless Kornrath as the crowd chanted “Union Rep! Union Rep! Union Rep!”

A concussed Kornrath announced, “We have a great dental plan with minimal copay” before Dirty-Man-Savage covered Kornrath’s health-insured body, prompting the ref to begin the negotiation countdown, “One, Two, Three!”

“Anyone else want to unionize?” McMahon asked.