You Asked, We Delivered: Mark Davis’ Tips For Mind-Blowing, Toe-Curling Sex

Finally – the NFL’s Black Friday Special! We’ve been waiting all year for this! But yet – there are a few unanswered questions that we KEEP getting bombarded with. Comment after comment asking for the ask thing.

Well you asked, so we delivered: Here are Mark Davis’ tips for mind blowing, toe curling sex.

Hair Cut
“Obviously I, Marky D, rock the f*ck out of this Bowl Cut. I wouldn’t recommend it for rookies though. If you do want to run with the Bowl’s, ensure it’s done perfectly so the condom fits.”

Location Is Everything
“Turns out leaving Oakland was huge for my sex life.”

Bone Play
“This is my own original move. Having a fully assembled real human skeleton watching me has always made my little ‘Marks’ curl up real tight. Like gorilla grip, industrial torque tight.”

Money
“Having a net worth above a couple billion does not hurt.”

Al Davis
“I… have a lot of cutouts of my father around my house. Life size cutouts. At least sixty.”

Feminism
“Women love a progressive man. Buy a WNBA team, you’re bound to bang a Vegas 10, even if you have to pay hundreds of dollars for it!”

Join us next week for our next edition of You Asked, We Delivered: Tyreek Hill’s Parenting Advice