5 Things To Know Before You Don’t Watch The World Series

The groundswell, desire, and anticipation for the October Classic has reached null critical mass with the Yankees-Dodgers World Series kicking off tonight! In what promises to be 4-to-7 games void of any adrenaline-must-see-excitement, Sports Riot is here to tell you everything YOU NEED TO KNOW about this match-up before you completely ignore baseball’s finale entirely.

1) Home-run King Aaron Judge developed the cure for cancer this past month, but unfortunately it only works on fruit flies. The media won’t cover it. Super disappointing.
2) Stanley Kubrick directed the very first World Series on an L.A. soundstage, and none of the remakes have lived up to the original.
3) Jimmy Kimmel won’t be hosting the World Series this year. If you are looking for that acerbic wit and no-holds-barred political commentary you have come to love with your baseball broadcasts, you will have to stick with old Vin Scully recordings.
4) Shohei Ohtani’s gambling debt has eclipsed $100 Mil on the baseball black market. Eagle-eyed fans are on the lookout and expect Ohtani to take the field at some point with only nine fingers.
5) Finally, the MLB was founded in 1903, long before happiness was invented.

If you enjoyed this list, look out next week for the top 7 parasites to contract instead of watching Bronny James!