75-Year-Old Tom Brady Travels Back In Time To Warn Self Not To Retire Before Hitting Prime 2034

Emerging from a Lombardi Trophy-shaped time machine moments before Tom Brady took the field during the Super Bowl, a disheveled 75-year-old Tom Brady reportedly warned his past self not to retire before hitting his prime in 2034. 

“You must not make the same mistake I made. I was tricked into retiring by a rogue organization I would later learn was run by Jerry Jones,” said future Brady nervously touching his nine Super Bowl rings.

Unconvinced, present Brady motioned toward security to remove the time traveler from the room, however the security guards were unable to distinguish the superstar quarterback from his slightly graying but seemingly ageless duplicate.

“Don’t run from your power. Don’t let them deceive you into thinking you’re human. The fate of the league depends on it,” shouted future Brady. The guards moved forward to apprehend future Brady, but present Brady waved them off. 

“I want to hear what I have to say,” said the ex-Buccaneers and Patriots quarterback.

Unfortunately, before future Brady was able to elaborate, he was sacked back to the future by a cyborg J.J. Watt