A More Mature Bills Team Officially Changes Team Name

The Buffalo Bills, tired of being treated like the kid of the AFC East, have decided to rebrand themselves to reflect a more mature and adult attitude. The football team, in a grown up tone of voice, are now going by the Buffalo Williams. 

“We’re to the point where we don’t want to be kids anymore” said Bills spokesman Benjamin Stevens during a press conference, who cut his long hair and who borrowed his Dad’s suit for the occasion. “No one is going to take a resume from the Buffalo Bills, but the Buffalo Williams shows that we’re real grown ups,” Stevens continued, who clearly improved his posture. Later, Williams could be found reading a novel, but not just any novel, an “adult novel that fellow adults love,” while drinking what was said to be coffee, but had a strong smell of hot coco. 

An anonymous source within the NFL offices have said  they appreciate the team trying to act, “like a big boy organization,” and it was “cute” that they wanted to be treated like adults. The source added that “maybe they’ll move out of The Patriots basement one day” and “get a real championship.” 

This will be a major shift for the organization, who has gone by the Bills since 1960. Before that, they did spend their first 5 years going by the Buffalo Billys, with 1 year as the Buffalo Bedwetting Billys, but that was only a phase.