Jared Goff’s Perfect Performance Confirms Reality Is A Simulation

In the Lions thrilling victory over the Seattle Seahawks last night, Detroit’s triumph sent two messages to the rest of the league. 1) Detroit is a contender in the playoffs; 2) If Jared Goff can be perfect, reality is a simulation.

“I love the Lions and I love their story but it’s mathematically impossible for Jared Goff to not miss,” said Michio Kaku. “Mahomes, even this new Daniels kid wouldn’t have been this scientifically conclusive.”

Many NFL philosophers and physicists (during the Super Bowl era) have gone back and forth, debated, and even theorized over such topics of Free Will, Determinism, Brain in a Vat, the Tampa-2 Defense, and Simulation Theory. However, as of this morning – all appear to finally agree.

“I’m normally one to disagree – but I watched the footage. Goff doesn’t miss. Life is a simulation and I have a lot of soul searching to do,” said Neil deGrasse Tyson, in a tweet.

We here at Sports Riot are always skeptical in searching for the truth. An 18 for 18 perfect passing night doesn’t sway us. So we dug deeper.

Then Goff CAUGHT a touchdown.

All hail our computer overlords!