All 32 NFL Franchises Announce They’re Moving To London

In a move to broaden the global reach of the NFL, this Wednesday each of the league’s 32 teams announced their plans to relocate to London before the start of the season.

“We’re always looking to enhance the international appeal of our sport,” said Goodell, who has long sought to spread football to those lands that remain untouched by its glory. “By placing all 32 teams in the city of London, the British will have no choice but to submit to the high-powered action and excitement of American football.”

To accommodate the move to the historic city, Goodell said the league will demolish outdated landmarks like Big Ben and Westminster Abbey to construct 32 brand-new stadiums directly next to one another using labor from native Londoners.

“We’ll raze half the city if we need to. London is ours now. The sun will never set on the National Football League,” Goodell said before abruptly ending the interview to marry the captive Princess of Wales.