“U-Woof-C” Championship Match Shut Down Immediately By FBI

The filming of U-Woof-C 241, the acclaimed Animal Planet companion to ESPN’s UFC 241 slated to debut this Saturday, was stopped within the first thirty seconds when FBI agents stormed the venue and arrested dozens of trainers.

“The FBI prematurely wagged their tails when they shut down our adorable Bite Nite matches, and we plan to play ruff in fighting all charges,” U-Woof-C executives said in a statement, adding that the event promotes uplifting themes, such as redemption, when loser dogs like Conor McGrrrgor return to the ring for a second chance at gnawing off Manny Barkiao’s fuzzy little ear out of love.

U-Woof-C executives said their rules prevent any foul play, which is why organizers distanced themselves from sponsorship with Michael Vick, who tarnished the sport’s image when he was arrested for simply loving dogs too much.

FBI agent James McLeish focused on illegal business practices. “We expect to charge them with 30 counts of tax evasion,” he said, adding that U-Woof-C executives will be kept in a local dog house until trial, where they could face up to 30 days in a kennel.