An Apology From Our Editors: The “Point Spread” Is Not In The Kama Sutra

In early Spring of 2017, Sports Riot unfortunately published a piece about gambling in which the “Point Spread” was thoroughly detailed as an act of the Kama Sutra. We deeply regret this error. In our defense, our editorial staff had spent years listening to our dad scream about getting fucked by the point spread. You’d be shocked how flaccid we became when we learned the gambling handicap was not in the Hindu erotic manual. 

We actually hadn’t ever read the Kama Sutra so we decided try to find one. We asked around looking for someone who may have a copy — we found an extremely sexual individual who also played in the NFL and asked to conceal their identity using pseudonym “WeShaun Datson.” 

We did further subtextual and thorough research and found several sports-related moves in the book that led us to believe we weren’t in the wrong. For example, there were a couple Bill Belichick maneuvers such as the “deflated balls” and the “spygate.” There was also a Patrick Mahomes move in which you bring a NFL referee into the bedroom. 

This also explains how we here at Sports Riot may have mistakenly sexualized the gambling industry. We recently got banned from FanDuel for trying to place reverse cowgirl bets. Draft Kings also called the police on us when we tried to bet the farm for some action on a Cleveland Steamer. 

We deeply apologize to any gamblers who tried using the “point spread” as a way to possibly satisfy their loved ones. Next time, we recommend trying the ‘three-legged parlay’ instead.