Confusing Trash Talk Oddly Impersonal

During last night’s game, Clippers guard Patrick Beverly’s oddly impersonal trash talk reportedly confused his Lakers opponents. “After missing a basket, he shouted ‘someone out here’s a mother****er,’” commented Markieff Morris, adding, “so I said, ‘hey you don’t call me or anyone else a mother****er…not Rondo?..Lebron? no, not Lebron either…Davis? Um…just…shut the f*** up.’”

The enigmatic trash talk continued throughout the game as he yelled ‘arthritis!’ at the Lakers’ entire bench followed by a 10-second unblinking stare down followed by another “arthritis!” “Did he mean we are an old team? Like all of us?” Kyle Kuzma questioned aloud. “I mean, I’m only 25. Do I look old? Do I have crow’s feet? Do we all have crow’s feet? All of us? What the f***?”

The trash talk apparently worked as the Lakers befuddled starters spent their last timeout creating a flowchart to decipher what, “Charlie don’t take two cinnamons for breakfast, Bea Arthur,” could possibly mean.

After the win, Beverly walked off the court smirking and telling Anthony Davis he, “at one time or another had sex with a mother of children,” but did not specify if he meant Mrs. Davis or if it was just a random statement about his sexual exploits.