Daniel Snyder Knows He’s Not The Problem. But, Do You?
Our owner, Daniel Marc Snyder, wishes to issue the following statement on His behalf:
“Mr. Snyder fully understands that He is not now – nor has He ever been – the problem with the Washington Redskins organization. He also wants you, the everyday sports fan, to understand this and to accept Him into your hearts as the productive NFL Owner He knows He is.
For those who doubt His commitment to winning, the following lies propagated by the media (whom you should never trust) have been corrected below. Accept them as fact:
- Mr. Snyder’s DOES fundamentally understand NFL Free Agency. He should not be blamed for signing the lazy traitor Albert Haynesworth to a 7-year, $100 million deal in 2009.
- Mr. Snyder DOES appreciate the fans. He simply wishes you would try harder. The current rate at which fans are buying merchandise is insufficient for victory. Therefore, isn’t this really the fans’ fault?
- Mr. Snyder DOES believe in developing head coaches. He simply fires talent often so that he can give more people the chance to run a real professional football team.
- Mr. Snyder AGREES that organizational culture is “actually damn good.” Problematic relationships with former players and coaches have been blown out of proportion. Mr. Snyder DOES NOT wish ill upon former coworkers like RG3, Kirk Cousins, and Sean McVay. He simply wishes for them to never speak to anyone about anything.
- Mr. Snyder CHOOSES to lose sometimes. He considers this an integral part of the team’s 20-year plan.
As is plainly evident, Mr. Snyder is not the problem with our organization. Compliments of his leadership, however, is quite welcome!
Thanks Mr. Snyder, you are our everlasting and greatest leader.
Sincerely,
The Washington Snyders
