ESPN Wins Broadcast Rights To All Six Seasons Of “Becker”

After struggling to find programming to fill airtime, ESPN announced this week that they have acquired the broadcast rights to all six seasons of Becker, which will become a cornerstone of their daily lineup. When sports fans criticized the choice, saying that Becker has nothing to do with LeBron James or the National Anthem, ESPN responded by saying they got it confused with Everybody Loves Raymond, which has a sportswriter as a protagonist, but that it’s fine because Becker is actually a pretty good show.  

In a new promo for the show, Chris Berman tells viewers that, “if they like Ted Danson and go in with low expectations, they’ll love Becker.”

“After the MLB Network scooped up Third Rock From The Sun and NHL Network got Rizzoli & Isles, we knew we had to act fast,” said ESPN director of programming John Suchenski, who told us they initially vied for Monk, but lost out to Animal Planet. 

“Listen, there’s 129 episodes… that’ll get us through at least September, right?” said Suchenski, who has bolstered ESPN programming by incorporating Becker analysis into some of their most popular talk shows. “I’m sorry, but Becker deserved to be thanked after saving the choking woman in the diner! That’s a fact!” argued Stephen A. Smith on First Take, adding that episode director Andy Ackerman is actually a close personal friend of his. 

“Listen, we threw a Hail Mary because we’re hemorrhaging viewers right now,” said ESPN President James Pitaro. “But eventually people will learn to love Becker just as much as they once loved sports.”