Good Seats Wasted on Bad Son

A father of three adult sons announced today that the luxury box seats that had been gifted to him last minute by a former colleague had been completely wasted on his worst son.

Alan McClain said his preferred sons were unable to accept behind-the-plate seats for Game 7 of the World Series due to prior commitments, prompting him to invite Collin McClain.

“He never liked sports, so hearing him agree to come along rattled me,” Alan McClain said, adding that upon entering the park, his son sought out the stadium’s food court only to complain about the craft beer pricing and lack of vegan options, despite only being 11 years of age. “He then revealed the glove he bought to catch a foul ball so he could sell it on eBay to fund his ocean acidification podcast.”

Alan McClain reported that when his son stopped complaining about the surroundings, he then took several hundred photos and made multiple failed attempts to secure a photo together.

“What an absolute waste of good seats and genetic material,” he said.

When asked to comment on the day’s events, Collin McClain told reporters, “Finally getting time to spend with my dad? It was the best day of my life!”