Hear Us Out: Pee Wee UFC

Sports are wonderful activities for kids. However, one youth sport seems to be absent in America: a professional, organized, Dana White-led UFC for 9-12 year-olds. Pee Wee UFC would do wonders for today’s youth. Here’s why:

It’s less dangerous than football. Studies show the younger someone starts playing football, the more likely they are to sustain lifelong brain injuries. However, studies show the younger someone starts UFC training the more likely they are to choke out chumps. Let’s swap helmet-to-helmet contact for that “ground and pound” combat for our kids.

It builds character. Nothing keeps a child humble and down-to-earth like getting knocked unconscious by repeated hammer fists to their poor defensive stance and unprotected noodle.

Team sports preach the benefits of teamwork. PWUFC, however, will mold your little one into a lone, savage beast forever instilled with the mindset that they are alone in this world and all success in life must come at the hands of another’s defeat. Success in the octagon, and life, happens only if you will it to happen. Hard.

For just the mere, mere cost of a few weak children’s lives a year, get ready because this next generation will tap you out.