If Sabrina Ionescu Won’t Get You To Watch The WNBA, Then How About A Cool $4,000?

Are you someone who has no interest in watching the upcoming WNBA season, despite this year’s addition of rookie sensation and all-time NCAA triple-double leader, Sabrina Ionescu? Well, perhaps $4,000 in cold, hard cash will change your mind!

Interested? That’s great! All you have to do is simply promise to watch one professional women’s basketball game during the 2020 season, and the WNBA will send you a direct deposit for 4,000 big ones – no questions asked.

Still not convinced? Well, what if the WNBA threw in a gently-driven 2015 Mazda Miata to go along with that fat stack of 100s? Why, that kind of windfall would make a Las Vegas Aces fan out of even the most man-loving sports fan!

But no. Not you. For some reason, you still refuse. Apparently, no amount of cash and prize incentives could ever get you to sit down and appreciate the greatness of a Della Donne, Vandersloot, or Ogwumike, could it?

Well, in that case, maybe the league just hasn’t done a clear enough job convincing you to watch their product. Maybe what the league should do, instead, is kidnap your children and refuse their release until you can name at least 5 WNBA teams. Maybe the league should frame you for armed robbery and only come clean to the cops after you’ve bought a family four-pack of Seattle Storm season tickets through 2045. Or maybe, just maybe, the league should bang both your parents, twice, in front of everyone during halftime at a Sparks-Mystics game. What do you think – would you consider watching a WNBA game then? That’s what we thought.