Italian Tourists Absolutely Astonished By Oakland Coliseum

Stunned by just how far coliseum technology has come in the past 1,900 years, a group of Italian tourists found themselves in awe during a visit to RingCentral Coliseum in Oakland.

“I can hardly believe it – a functioning coliseum!” said Roman native Dario Di Stefano. “The walls are intact, the seats have cushions, and the Visigoths would stand no chance of making it through such an advanced security system.”

Awestruck by the stadium’s wide variety of amenities, the tour group spent more than nine hours exploring the crown jewel of Oakland, enjoying activities ranging from the consumption of hedonistic quantities of nachos to the use of toilets powered by an intricate network of metal aqueducts.

“What I can’t get over are all the little details. Like the Jumbotron, for example,” said Di Stefano, adding that, “The architects must have realized that people would want to see whether the Emperor was giving a thumbs up or a thumbs down. No more squinting!”

When asked, the Italian tourists overwhelmingly said their favorite part of the trip was finally being able to enjoy a day at the coliseum without hundreds of Americans overrunning the place.