Jaguars Fan Logs 100-Day Duolingo Streak In Prep For Speaking ‘London’

Cody Funderburk of Jacksonville, Florida loves his Jaguars. So much so that he was willing to do his part recently to decode speaking “London” for his upcoming trip abroad to cheer on the team. And while Cody may not be a fan of learning, his love for his Jaguars produced 100 straight days of Duolingo “London” language mastery.

 “At first I thought he was coming onto me by calling me ‘bloke’ so I tried to stab him, but then he told me there ain’t no Jags fan bigger than him,” said Cody, pointing to the faded 20-year-old Tony Boselli tattoo on his thigh. “When I heard the Jags were playing twice in this ‘London’, I knew the boys needed me there. I’m no hero, just wanted to know my Londonese so I could order nachos like a local. All of a sudden I was at 100 days in a row. Never done anything 100 days in a row in my life.”

“Cody’s locked in, dog,” beamed best friend Clint Callahan. “He called me ‘bloke’. So I tried to stab him but then he told me that ‘bloke’ was London for ‘bro’. The other night we were beating the shit out of some guy in the bar and Cody was calling him a ‘wanker’ and saying stuff like ‘I’m going to fuck your girl, governor’. Sounded like the king of London. He heard the London people have worse teeth than us so he’s even been smashing his teeth with a hammer to look like a real ‘London’. What a bloke!”

Cody’s longtime girlfriend Tammy Montgoméry demurred. “It’s real sexy. He’s talking about them Londonese with ‘adverbs’ and ‘modifiers’. When we’re banging outside the Waffle House, it’s like I’m back in high school again, banging my English teacher outside the Waffle House!”

A tear rolled down Cody’s cheek as he landed in London for the game. “Nothing stands between me and my Jags. I’ll do whatever it takes to cheer those fuckers, no wait, those ‘chaps’ on.” He walked off, head high, jumping up and tapping the “Welcome to London, Ontario” sign as he headed to customs.