NBA Replaces Games With Three-Point Contests

Following a vote during the annual NBA Owners meeting last Friday, the league has confirmed it will be replacing its current four-quarter-most-points-wins format with three-point contests. “We can see the writing on the wall,” Commissioner Adam Silver told reporters. “The transition to an 82 three-point-contest season was already happening organically. We just gave it a little nudge.” 

Unlike All-Star Weekend, these 3-point contests have new rules to account for the league’s evolution over the years. “Based on our in-depth statistical analysis of the game, every player will be allowed two flops per contest, four if they’re a superstar, every missed shot is a foul, dribbling is optional, and most importantly, defense is strictly forbidden,” Silver added before outlining the makeup of the new three super-team league of the Brooklyn Lakers, the Golden State LeBrons, and, of course, the San Antonio Spurs.

Golden State LeBrons star LeBron James, previously opposed to the all-perimeter shooting game, has reportedly become the NBA’s most outspoken advocate of the rule change after penning a six-year, four-MVP, three-Championship deal with the league, all but guaranteeing him GOAT status. Kawhi Leonard is also on-board after learning of his seven-year-long load management rest before his Hall of Fame induction.

While three-point specialists and shooters continue to overtake the league, big men like Giannis and Bam Adebayo will reportedly remain in the league in case games are forced into an overtime Dunk Contest.