Portland Trail Blazers Discover New NBA Team While Exploring Mountains Of Oregon

Predicting their findings could fundamentally change the way humans understand basketball, the Portland Trail Blazers announced that they have discovered a formerly unknown NBA team inhabiting a remote section of mountain range near Mount Hood.  

“It’s a team building exercise! Anyway, we’re on our daily expedition and we identified several clues in the strata: an old basketball pump, a worn headband, and carvings of the NBA logo,” said Damian Lillard. “As we got deeper and deeper into the range, we could hear an indistinguishable rumble, which gave way to the unmistakable roar of a crowd in a sold-out stadium.”

The Trail Blazers soon discovered a significant rock shelter built into the side of the mountain that included 20,000 leather seats and a state-of-the-art 4k scoreboard.

“It was beautiful sitting there among nature and to see these majestic mountains harboring a real deal franchise with fans, jerseys, and even a mascot,” said CJ McCollum, adding that the previously undiscovered tribe likely began balling around 1970 AD.

“These guys were good and not just for mountain people. We tried to convince them to return with us with promises of fame, fortune, and glory, but they refused to leave their sacred home,” Lillard said.

Before departing, the Trail Blazers pilfered everything they could as proof of their discovery.