Study: More MLB Players Are Ditching The Dugout In Favor Of Individual Holes

Surprising research from the Elias Sports Bureau has shed light on a new trend in professional baseball, showing that around thirty-five percent of the league’s players have now left the conventional dugout to wait out the batting order in individual, man-sized holes. 

“I’ll be talking shop with a few of the guys, and then I’ll look out, and sure enough, I’ll see Mike Trout out there in his burrow,” said Trout’s teammate Brian Goodwin, who also noted that Trout had seen his batting average climb .020 percent since making the switch. 

Don Mattingly, the Miami Marlins’ manager, told reporters that he believes the phenomenon is just a part of the new generation of players’ larger trend towards individualism on the field. “Obviously I want my players to express themselves, but I worry what this does for team unity,” said Mattingly. “I’ve even caught a few upcoming free agents negotiating deals with other teams from inside their holes.”

It is unclear who started the individual hole trend, but most analysts believe it was originally part of Reds’ superstar Yasiel Puig’s pregame ritual, who has recently angered his coaches by announcing plans to hire his own personal General Manager, Base Coaches, and Fans.