Temp Agency Places Another Interim Coach
Renowned temp agency Pigskin Professionals has placed yet another interim coach for the Jacksonville Jaguars, their largest client, with all of their head coaches being temp placements dating back to 1999.
“The Jaguars are our favorite client because they’ve decided to be ahead of the curve. Why spend all that money on one head coach when you could subcontract out a temp? We make money. They save money. Everyone wins.”
Despite having not won a single game due to head coaching since 1996, the backfill was a tall order, assistant coach Terry Myers told reporters.
“We looked for a coach proficient in the West Coast Offense and Microsoft Excel.”
The must-have requirements for this position quickly became widespread around the NFL, resulting in over 45 applicants in just five days. A candidate would have met these requirements:
- 10+ years of experience in the NFL as a Head Coach
- Strong written and verbal communication
- Master’s Degree in Football Science (preferred)
Jaguars ownership has expressed their desire that this coach “must be able to coach,” marking a drastic shift in the team’s business model of the last two decades.
“We’re looking for someone to hit the ground running without interference. Someone not afraid to challenge when necessary or flag issues,” a Jaguars front office statement read.
Newly promoted Jaguars head coach Justin Brandt addressed the media, the high profile position he’s filling, his qualifications, and the Jaguars future saying, “I can make copies, I have an English degree, and I can pass a drug test.”
