Top 5 Times Mr. Met Got Away With Vehicular Manslaughter
Look. We know what you’re thinking. It’s time to celebrate the Mets – they’re in the playoffs and have a chance!
Our good conscience couldn’t stand idly by. And sure, Mr. Met has never actually been CONVICTED. That (alleged) criminal is allowed to still ride through every 7th-inning stretch. He’s, technically, smiled through dozens of kills with that thing. It’s only a matter of time until there’s another victim.
Here’s our top (and also our favorite) five times Mr. Met committed and got away with vehicular manslaughter:
- Devin Williams (2024)
Everyone knows Pete Alonso blasts a home run sending the Mets to the NLDS. But, that’s what the MLB wants you to see. Several other angles of the same footage show Mr. Met crashing into Devin Williams mid-pitching motion with the infamous Metmobile. Such impact to the throwing motion led to an easy lob that Alonso was waiting for.
- Tommy Lasorda (1993)
It was August. Lasorda was being honored as the Mets’ longtime rival coach. He came out from the Dodgers’ dugout for a standing ovation and was immediately razed by four wheels of Metropolitan pride. Some say the Phillie Phanatic was in the passenger’s seat.
Downside: Lasorda died. Upside: Mets won!
- Daryl Strawberry (1987)
Strawberry and Mr. Met used to disappear up route 495 into Long Island after every homestand. While Mr. Met would get him back in time for the next series, both would be in rough shape. One night Strawberry (allegedly) told Mr. Met to hit him with the Metmobile. Strawberry met Met’s mobile and Daryl was never the same – some say it ruined his career.
- The Infamous “Center Field Mugger” (2007)
This was the one time Mr. Met got the Metmobile up in the stands, and in Section 319 no less. It was the middle of the 3rd when old no. 00 mowed down the mugger, who’d been harassing fans and driving down attendance for five seasons. He received a standing ovation, and Mayor Mike Bloomberg gave him the key to the city.
- Jimmy Hoffa (1982)
They can’t prove anything because the body was never found. But what’s that lump in left field? And why has every outfielder since Mookie Wilson had to sign an NDA? Shhhhhhh.
It was very difficult to choose just five. We didn’t even mention the time in Abbottabad, for example, when he raced past Seal Team Six to run over Osama bin Liden.
And while we’re at it, whatever HAPPENED to Mrs. Met? “Divorce”? Sure, pal. More like “Divor-HIT-BY-THE-METMOBILE.” We rifled through the Queens County paperwork and found nothing, you do the math.
