We Review The Best Items From NFLShop.Com To Spice Up Your Sex Life

A healthy sex life, much like football, is all about teamwork. When two or more teammates get together to accomplish a mutually pleasurable goal, that leaves both parties satisfied. So, in the spirit of teamwork, we’ve tested and reviewed NFLShop.com’s best licensed merchandise for spicing up your sex life.

Atlanta Falcons Matt Ryan Bobblehead (4.3 stars):

This collectible Matty Ice figure goes great in any mancave. And by mancave we mean man-rectum. The way the Super Bowl-losing quarterback’s gyrating head tickles one’s prostate makes it a must-have for Falcons’ fans and butt-play aficionados alike. And, at a discounted price of $22.99, it’s a steal.

Women’s Green Bay Packers Little Earth Plaid Green Scarf (4.5 stars):

Add a stylish flourish to your winter lovemaking in your favorite team’s colors. Lightweight and soft, this green and yellow scarf’s 100% acrylic material won’t irritate your skin as your partner uses it to gently choke you until you squirt “touchdown” all over your sheets. 

Riddell Denver Broncos Throwback 1975-1996 VSR4 Full-Size Football Authentic Helmet (4.67 stars):

Like it rough? Retro helmets will keep you safe as your head repeatedly bangs against the headboard. Great for being blitzed! 

New England Patriots Tom Brady Fanatics Authentic Framed 20” x 24” In the Zone Photograph (5 stars):

Step 1: Hang the photo in your bedroom. Step 2: Look into the GOAT’s eyes. Step 3: Hnggggg.

Las Vegas Raiders 15oz. Coffee Mug Set (4.1 stars):

For the morning after.