WNBA Commissioner On Violence In League: ‘I Will Hunt Down And Kill Caitlin Clark Personally’

At a press conference Thursday, WNBA commissioner Cathy Engelbert addressed the recent surge in violence surrounding popular Indiana Fever guard Caitlin Clark. Clark’s been at the center of poked eyes, elbows, knock downs, and heckling by fans. Engelbert believes the league’s efforts simply aren’t enough to end this spread of violence. Stating that if things don’t deescalate properly she will be forced to end this by hunting down and eliminating the two-time AP Player of the Year herself.

“Before Caitlin’s arrival there was no violence, no fouls, no rough-housing, and no ratings,” said Engelbert. “Now it’s like Gotham out there, even though the ratings are through the roof.”

Engelbert further stated ending her press conference, “I’ve talked to WNBA scientists, the only way to root out the violence problem is elimination of the nucleus, Caitlin Clark.” She paused to examine a hunting spear. “Time to earn this Commissioner title.”