Cam Skattebo Gnaws Off Own Foot To Expedite Recovery Time

Giants fans were crushed to see star running back Cam Skattebo go down with a horrifically brutal ankle injury, one that would surely end his season, possibly his career. However, while sitting in the sideline medical tent, Skattebo seemed to have other ideas. Against the advice of trainers, doctors, and priests, he gnawed off his own foot in an effort to get back on the field. And somehow…it worked.

“Can’t have hurt foot if no foot to hurt!” the rookie tailback medically theorized before voraciously sinking his teeth into his mangled ankle.

Doctors were shocked by Skattebo’s unorthodox remedy. “His ankle was sideways!” yelled Giants head physician Scott Stevenson. “I told him it would be 8 months before he could even think about walking again, let alone playing football. But Cam didn’t like that timeline at all. So, he growled at the trainers and got to chewing.” Stevenson shook his head incredulously. “I don’t know how, but our imaging model says he’ll be good to go in time for kickoff!”

This is not the first time Skattebo has used his teeth to get back on the field. At Arizona State, he gnawed his way back from an oblique strain, a torn MCL, and even pneumonia. “The guy just wants to play,” said Giants head coach Brian Daboll. “It makes you question why other injured players haven’t tried biting off their appendages.” Daboll mused, glaring right at Malik Nabers.

While Giants players were certainly grateful to get their teammate back, many of them reportedly wondered how exactly he plans on running the ball with only one foot. To answer this, Skattebo proceeded to gnaw off his other foot too. Now, running on just two stubs, the Giants star is amazingly faster than he’s ever been.