Cubs Honor Ryne Sandberg By Not The Winning World Series This Season

Following the death of Hall of Fame second baseman Ryne Sandburg in July, the Cubs decided to dedicate the 2025 season to honoring old “Ryno’s” legacy. The entire organization, in fact, has decided to fail to win the World Series and, with any luck, be ousted from the playoffs altogether in disgrace. 

Sandberg, who played for the Cubs from 1982 to 1997, committed himself to excellence as a fielder (nine Gold Gloves), excellence as a hitter (282 homers), and a miserable relationship with postseason baseball. “He really didn’t like October,” said former teammate Andre Dawson. “Something about the cold and the desire to be with his family in Phoenix. He also thought ‘fall baseball’ was unnatural. Then again, so do a lot of Cubs.” 

Active players are excited to honor a franchise legend. “It’s great to know we’re playing for a cause this year,” said All Star centerfielder Pete Crow Armstrong. “Our aim is to play well, maybe make the playoffs, and then fizzle into baseball obscurity until late February.” 

“When I dropped that ball in Game 1 against the Brewers, I pointed to the statue of Ryne in Concourse B,” said left fielder Kyle Tucker. “It was as if to say, like, ‘Thanks for your service, big guy.’ ”

What most people don’t know is that the Cubs have dedicated every season since 1870 to a player who’s never won a World Series. In 2005, it was Ernie Banks. In 2012: Mark Grace. 

“We made a mistake in 2016,” admits then-manager Joe Madden. “It was another Sandberg year, and there was a rumor going around that Ryno had gotten #MeToo’d. I turned to the gang and said: We’re winning the World Series.” 

The rumor turned out to be false, however, and in 2017 the franchise returned to tradition.