Cynical Ref Deems Field Goal ‘Good, But Not Great’

After ruling on the field that a kick from Green Bay’s Mason Crosby was good, veteran NFL referee Dan Hruska stopped play Sunday to make an additional clarification that while the kick was technically good, it was hardly impressive.

“The ruling on the field is three points, but I mean, if we’re honest, it should probably be like, two points at best,” said Hruska, who had altered his standard parallel arm-raise “good kick” signal to include a large shrug and an accompanying audible sigh. “I mean, it was about a foot and a half away from splitting the uprights, and I could see it wobble a little. Definitely a far, far cry from the solid, end-over-end boomer you’d hope to see from professional football. But yeah, it still counts, I guess.” 

Hruska went on to court controversy later in the game when a hot mic caught him muttering under his breath about the unimpressive nature of the final score, which he described as “predictably underwhelming.”