NASCAR Testing New “Cards Against Humanity” Game

Last Friday, racing insiders leaked that NASCAR President Steve Phelps and the Board of Directors are reportedly testing a new game: Cars Against Humanity. While little is known about when the car game would officially premiere, it appears to be a crash-based, turn-based game that has the potential to offend viewers and drivers alike.

“We were sitting around thinking of ways to spruce up driving in ovals and I remembered a party game my 23-year-old niece showed the family at Christmas and thought, ‘Hey, that was fun. Why not live action roleplay that with 200mph stock cars?’” Phelps told reporters before describing how pace cars will have prompts decaled onto their hoods and drivers will choose the funniest card in their pit box and race to crash into the pace car driver who, after receiving medical treatment, will choose his favorite card.

“It’ll have the same human elements as the card game where the guy who thinks he’s funniest can’t seem to catch a break and where the seemingly good-hearted people play the Confederate Flag-Bubba Wallace card.” Phelps has not indicated how many vehicles will be destroyed in a given match, but has assured reporters it’s enough to satiate viewers’ bloodthirst who will of course, only be enjoying the game while drinking.

While NASCAR’s marketing team is coming up with new prompts and responses they’ve already come up with what they’re calling a sure winner: the always hilarious ‘Dale Earnhardt Jr. crying tears of milk while watching replays of his father die at Daytona’ card.”