Reigning Georgia Bulldog Uga the 10th Survives Coup Attempt By Beffalicious III To Retain Title

Speaking from atop his rawhide throne inside Sanford Stadium, current Georgia Bulldog mascot Uga, tenth of his name, declared that order had been restored following a harrowing near-deposition by longtime canine political rival, Beefalicious III.

“My cousin Beef has long coveted my title, but after an arduous dogfight, I alone emerge victorious!” barked the mascot, speaking before his assembled banner-hounds and the 17 puppies he had sired with his consort, Jowlerina. “Be this a warning to all who oppose me: Cold ambition shall never outmaneuver the Divine Right of Mascots. The Georgian bloodline remains strong!”

According to sources close to the losing camp, Beefalicious III was moved to strike after being visited by the ghost of former University of Georgia coach “Pop” Warner, who advised the hound to seize power in order to finally “visit permanent ruin upon the hated Florida Gator, and watch [his] seed perish from the Earth.” This struck a chord with the jealous nobledog, who had long thought his mascot cousin much too cautious in his dealings with the team’s hated rivals.

Uga X, however, was gifted a similar premonition when Tennessee mascot Smokey emerged from a crowd a few weeks before the attempted usurpation, urging the reigning canine to “Beware the Ides of January.” The dual supernatural visitations have left even the Nobel-winning scryers of the University of Georgia’s Applied Divinations Department unable to tell which side the Gods were truly on.

After a lavish and spirited celebration, which included parading Beefalicious III’s severed head around on a pike, Uga X grew more reflective and delivered a somber final speech to his subjects:

“Now is the heeling of our discontent,” mused the mascot. “Let four mastiffs bear Beefalicious like a terrier to the stage. For he was likely, had he been put on, to have proved most Good Boy. Go, bid the chapel bell ring.”