Rest Of NFL Office Anxiously Watches As Roger Goodell Finally Googles His Own Name

Looking on in horror as their boss decided it was finally time to find out what people really think about him, members of the NFL league office appeared overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment.

“He’s always just assumed that everyone likes him,” said Troy Vincent, Executive Vice President of Football Operations. “Sure, he gets booed at the draft every year, but we just tell him they’re saying ‘GOOOO’ for Goodell, and he eats it right up. What’s gonna happen when he finds out everyone thinks he’s a tool?”

Thanks to Goodell’s $40 million annual salary, he can afford assistants for everything in his life, including Google. “I always just tell him that he’s a fair and just arbiter makes balanced decisions that satisfy both liberal and conservative fans,” said Goodell’s Google boy, Danny Simpson. “If he ever finds out that the only thing both sides can agree on is their deep hate for him, I’m completely screwed.”

Two hours later, Goodell held a press conference where he announced his plans to disband the NFL after learning what CTE is.