Chet Holmgren Returns To Offseason Gig As Tallest Building In Oklahoma

With the NBA Season now over, most players are enjoying some well earned relaxation. But the grind never stops for Thunder star Chet Holmgren, who has returned to his offseason gig as the tallest building in Oklahoma.

“Being a building is good work.” said Holmgren, standing in an otherwise empty prairie. “Most of the job is just standing in one spot. I don’t have to shoot, I don’t have to pass; occasionally I’ll block a low-flying airplane, but most pilots tend to just avoid Oklahoma altogether.

Though Holmgren is currently the tallest building in Oklahoma, he’s far from the first skyscraper the state’s boasted. “For a while, we had the Kevin Durant building,” said Oklahoma’s governor Kevin Stitt. “Then we had the Russell Westbrook building for a bit. We had big plans for a James Harden building, but it was never erected except for partially near the strip club. Recently, we’ve been trying to build the SGA building, but every time someone looks at it, it comes toppling down.”

Though some fans wonder if the Thunder center should be focusing on improving his game, the stats say otherwise. As it turns out, Holmgren averages more points, steals, and assists as a building than he ever has as a player. “It’s amazing to finally see Chet unlock his potential,” said Thunder head coach Mark Daigneault. “I kind of wish it was on the court instead of in the middle of an empty field, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers.”

However, even a building as tall and sturdy as Chet Holmgren is not impenetrable. Like all good Oklahoma City buildings, he came crashing down last week when an explosion went off in his calf. While the FAA is investigating the incident as a ‘structural collapse’, several fans reported seeing Victor Wembanyama in the area just before the blast holding a large ticking box.