LESSER SPORTS
“They always say you’ll be amazed at what you learn from your children.”
-Floyd Mayweather, on reading
“Please, George is my son’s and son’s and son’s and son’s and son’s name. Call me Mr. Foreman.”
-George Foreman
“Sometimes I contort my body and think I’m a pretzel. Other times I spill mustard on myself and I know I am.”
-Simone Biles
NASCAR Disbands After Nissan Leaf Makes It Through Qualifying
The organization formerly known as NASCAR disbanded Thursday following the qualifying of its first-ever Nissan Leaf. The Daytona 500 takes the top 42 qualifiers of Bluegreen Vacations Duel’s 150-lap race;
Next Global Pandemic Traced Back To Whatever’s In This NASCAR Chili Dog
The CDC reported Sunday to have traced the cause of the next pandemic to whatever is inside this NASCAR chili dog. The health agency sent a team of leading scientists
Brother-Sister Figure Skating Duo Definitely Fucking, Right?
The other day, I was sitting in my home, enjoying figure skating like all red-blooded American men do. Tragically, my joy quickly dissipated when a tandem of brother-sister figure skating
Stanley Cup Prepares For Another Year Of Hanging Out With Drunk Assholes
After spending the past year perpetually partying and nursing hangovers with the Tampa Bay Lightning, the Stanley Cup has reportedly been mentally preparing itself for another year of hanging out
Here’s A List Of Scores From Games We Honestly Don’t Give A Shit About
Bruins – 1 Hurricanes – 5 Lightning – 0 Maple Leafs – 5 Blues – 4 Wild – 0 Kings – 4 Oilers – 3
Top 3 Most Preventable Ping Pong Homicides
From its birthplace in the crime-ridden back alleys of Jack the Ripper’s London to the current referee-decapitation scandal, ping pong has always had a murderous underbelly. Here are three homicides
Breaking Barriers: This Trans US Men’s Soccer Player Is Equally As Terrible As Rest Of Team
American soccer and LGBTQIA+ communities rejoiced last week as trans male midfielder Theodore Donaldson proved he can play just as terribly as the rest of the U.S. Men’s team. It
Hear Us Out: Golf, But More Pretentious
If you’re like me, you’ve felt that maybe you don’t fit in at country clubs because they’re a bit too…working class. Golf is the game of kings, not court jesters.