BASKETBALL
“Stay the fuck down, runt. You’re nothing.”
–Michael Jordan, motivating kids at his basketball camp
“Oh… oh, God. Don’t say that. That’s so depressing.”
–Evan Mobley, upon being told he’s the hottest thing in Cleveland right now
Coach’s Rousing Speech Reminds Seniors This Could Be Their Last Chance To Get Away With Sexual Assault
Heading into the potentially final game of the season, Oak State head coach Ron Watson already felt wistful. His players were graduating and moving on with life. So, Watson did
Flagrant Foul From Struggling Point Guard Directed More At His Father Than Other Team
In what onlookers all agreed was a completely understandable display of psychological projection, local Grinnell College sophomore Bryce Hargreaves was clearly thinking of his overbearing father when he violently shoved
The Top Five Founding Fathers The 76ers Refused To Put On Their Logo
When the Sixers teased an image of a bifocaled Benjamin Franklin gritting his teeth while driving a basketball, we Philly fans at Sports Riot started a list of “snubs” whose
Here’s Which NBA Team You Should Bet On Winning The Stanley Cup, According To Bing’s Analytics
Here are this week’s hot tips. Shohei Otani is a slam-dunk to win Friday’s L.A. Galaxy. His completion is up 7 percent since joining the Jazz. NHL rookies, meanwhile, with
Fuck, Marry, Kill: We Break Down This Year’s NCAA Bracket
The time has come. The Final Four from this year’s NCAA Bracket are to clash, and everything is riding on tonight. Sports Riot has been overwhelmed with the outpouring of
I’ll Spend Hours Researching For A March Madness Bracket, But I’m Sure As Shit Not Gonna Vote This November
Though I’ll spend hours crunching data, conducting polls, and watching game tape during the NCAA tournament this March, I can guaran-damn-tee you I’m not going to waste any time participating
5 Signs You’re Not Going To Win Your March Madness Pool Or Custody Of Your Kids
Sorry pal, but it looks like you’ve botched your March Madness pool — and any chance you had at a meaningful relationship with your kids outside of court-approved weekends. Here
Report: You’ll Still Be Terrible At Basketball In The Metaverse
A new study from the Pew Research Center confirmed Monday that despite your confidence in the Metaverse’s capacity to improve real life, you will still be terrible at basketball. Annie