BASKETBALL

“I find that if you chill red wine, it makes the wine colder when you drink it.”
–LeBron James, wearing glasses

Living Up To Their Name: Watch The Oklahoma City Thunder Scare The Shit Out Of This Small Dog

Section 310 Forced To Sit And Watch As Section 311 Wins Free Chipotle For A Month
Halftime. Last night. The big game. Fans were completely enthralled and entrenched in a game they’ve all been waiting for and came together as one to cheer for the home

Shaq Accidentally Tears Down Backboard In Red Lobster Bathroom
Staff and patrons alike were shocked on Tuesday when Shaquille O’Neal completely tore down the backboard of a toilet while going for two. “I was serving biscuits when I heard

Player Faces Disciplinary Action After Basketball Hits Mom’s Car
After violating league rules Saturday by hitting mom’s 2018 Honda Odyssey with a basketball, the Herro household has imposed strict disciplinary actions on 16-year-old Tyler. Despite Tyler’s claims that “it

Confusing Trash Talk Oddly Impersonal
During last night’s game, Clippers guard Patrick Beverly’s oddly impersonal trash talk reportedly confused his Lakers opponents. “After missing a basket, he shouted ‘someone out here’s a mother****er,’” commented Markieff

Kyrie Seeks Trade From Mind
Controversial Brooklyn Nets star Kyrie Irving shocked the world this week when he requested a trade from his mind. The move comes on the heels of hundreds, if not thousands,

LeBron James Writhing In Pain After Pregame Handshakes
A particularly firm pregame handshake from Denver’s Nikola Jokic left LeBron James writhing in pain on the floor of the Staples Center last Saturday, causing a five-minute game delay as

What A Waste: Make A Wish Kid Chooses To Attend Minnesota Timberwolves Game
In a move that shocked the entire nonprofit industry, terminally ill child Danny Velasquez wasted his once in a lifetime Make-A-Wish on tickets to a Minnesota Timberwolves game. Velasquez reportedly

We Rank The Top 30 NBA Teams By How Many LeBron James’ They Have
LeBron is life, LeBron is basketball, and it’s said that wherever two or more people are gathered in his name, LeBron is with them. But is it really possible to






