BASKETBALL
“I find that if you chill red wine, it makes the wine colder when you drink it.”
–LeBron James, wearing glasses
“I’ve invited you all here tonight, because, one of you has been tweeting against me in private. REVEAL YOURSELF.”
–Kevin Durant, at his own surprise birthday party
Pathetic: None Of These “Elite 8” Got Into Harvard
The NCAA has given the world this spring a so-called “elite eight,” despite none of the utterly pathetic eight having been accepted into Harvard (like I was in 1987), which
NBA Replaces Games With Three-Point Contests
Following a vote during the annual NBA Owners meeting last Friday, the league has confirmed it will be replacing its current four-quarter-most-points-wins format with three-point contests. “We can see the
Five Iconic NBA Jerseys You Can Wear To Any Funeral
Sporting a sick NBA jersey to a funeral? Talk about a great way to turn some tears into high-fives. Here are the five most iconic threads you can style while
This Doctor Just Told Michael Jordan He Couldn’t Live Past 150 And MJ Is Pissed
Michael Jordan, storming out of his doctor’s office, was furious at the news given to him. His doctor, clearly unaware of what Jordan has accomplished, told the six time champion
Phoenix GM Addresses Rumors That Suns Could Be Leaving In 5 Billion Years
Phoenix Suns GM James Jones held a press conference today to address rumors that the Suns might be departing the city, and known universe, in five billion years. “The Suns
Section 310 Forced To Sit And Watch As Section 311 Wins Free Chipotle For A Month
Halftime. Last night. The big game. Fans were completely enthralled and entrenched in a game they’ve all been waiting for and came together as one to cheer for the home
Shaq Accidentally Tears Down Backboard In Red Lobster Bathroom
Staff and patrons alike were shocked on Tuesday when Shaquille O’Neal completely tore down the backboard of a toilet while going for two. “I was serving biscuits when I heard
Player Faces Disciplinary Action After Basketball Hits Mom’s Car
After violating league rules Saturday by hitting mom’s 2018 Honda Odyssey with a basketball, the Herro household has imposed strict disciplinary actions on 16-year-old Tyler. Despite Tyler’s claims that “it