BASKETBALL
“Consider yourself lucky–I’ve killed for less.”
–Michael Jordan, leaving a two-star Yelp review at IHOP
“I noticed I haven’t been spoken about today.”
–LeBron James, concerned conference call with ESPN
“It’s only a ‘gambling addiction’ if you lose.”
–Michael Jordan, making small talk with his phlebotomist while donating plasma
Confusing Trash Talk Oddly Impersonal
During last night’s game, Clippers guard Patrick Beverly’s oddly impersonal trash talk reportedly confused his Lakers opponents. “After missing a basket, he shouted ‘someone out here’s a mother****er,’” commented Markieff
Kyrie Seeks Trade From Mind
Controversial Brooklyn Nets star Kyrie Irving shocked the world this week when he requested a trade from his mind. The move comes on the heels of hundreds, if not thousands,
LeBron James Writhing In Pain After Pregame Handshakes
A particularly firm pregame handshake from Denver’s Nikola Jokic left LeBron James writhing in pain on the floor of the Staples Center last Saturday, causing a five-minute game delay as
What A Waste: Make A Wish Kid Chooses To Attend Minnesota Timberwolves Game
In a move that shocked the entire nonprofit industry, terminally ill child Danny Velasquez wasted his once in a lifetime Make-A-Wish on tickets to a Minnesota Timberwolves game. Velasquez reportedly
We Rank The Top 30 NBA Teams By How Many LeBron James’ They Have
LeBron is life, LeBron is basketball, and it’s said that wherever two or more people are gathered in his name, LeBron is with them. But is it really possible to
Helicopter Training Video Doesn’t Even Mention Kobe’s Stats
Letter after letter continued to funnel in expressing OUTRAGE to Boston Helicopters located in North Andover, MA. Lance Mulligan, Boston Helicopters facility owner, operator, pilot, and longtime Celtics fan released
Is Kevin Durant 5 Hall Of Famers Away From Another Title?
Some fans call him soft. Others, like Twitter user @DevinKurant argue he’s the greatest of all time. Since the superstar forward has lacked elite talent around him throughout his career,
Here’s Which NBA Team You Should Bet On Winning The Stanley Cup, According To Bing Analytics
Here are this week’s hot tips. Shohei Otani is a slam-dunk to win Friday’s L.A. Galaxy. His completion is up 7 percent since joining the Jazz. NHL rookies, meanwhile, with